Open Letter to my Estranged Siblings

Purple flowers and pink carnations for mom daughtersandmoms.comBy RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

My mom is still able to make her own decisions. Her doctor spoke to her alone yesterday. I left the room and she determined with the doctor, outside of my presence, that she would like to stay here. She says this is home.

Holding my mom’s belongings hostage unless she complies with Electronics Engineering Specialist Bryce Hesterman’s wishes to relocate is abusive. This will be reported today to Adult Protective Services and any authorities necessary in the Redwood, Wash., area.

Local authorities are already aware of my Mom’s needs and are in our home frequently. They know our situation and relationship with me being the care giving daughter for mom. There is nothing to be reported here other than that there are siblings who cannot see the forest for the trees and that their attempts to “help” only create health risks for Naomi Hesterman.

Mom was indeed confused for a time about where she considered home, but she received proper medical care and now that she is on anti-seizure medication she is able to make her own choices. Power of attorney is meant to be used when one is incapacitated and unable to think for themselves. The doctors tested her over and over in the hospital. She passed the tests repeatedly and could not be deemed incapable of making her own decisions. There is a legal document on file with Maricopa County stating that she is mentally able to make decisions and unless or until she is deemed incompetent, the POA of which Bryce speaks is not applicable. To do so against her will would be abusive.

Mom will be rescinding this power of attorney today. She does not want someone to be in charge of her agency regarding her living conditions–especially Bryce. She has already signed over medical power of attorney to me, because I am the one filling out her paperwork for doctor visits.

My estrangement from the family is a direct result of this type of behind-the-scenes manipulation. At one point, Senior Oracle DBA / AIX Admin Scott Hesterman used money as blackmail. He said my mother would not receive one dime from him as long as she lived in my home. I said fine, keep your money. We didn’t need it anyway. Shortly thereafter, ironically, he was laid off and it was a moot point.

I am protecting my mother. I take care of her daily needs. This is her home. This is where she plans to stay. I am the one who washes and changes her sheets in the middle of the night. I am the one whom she awakens when she needs a cough drop or can’t get to sleep. I am the one who is there for her day in and day out trying to assist with whatever she needs. I know her best. She says she is comfortable here. Adult Protective Services are already familiar with us and know she is safe. Those threats mean nothing anymore.

Bryce, Lynda, Scott and whomever else is participating in this witch hunt, please stop twisting the knife in her back. She does not need all of this back seat driving in her life. She is as happy here as she could be anywhere. Her only wish is that she be reunited with her late husband. That is not going to happen any time soon. She is getting better by the day–based on care she is getting right here in the four walls of this house.

I hate to do this in a public manner, but those who are constantly manipulating my mom’s affairs when they are already in order need to be unmasked for who they are and they need to put a stop to the stress they are causing Naomi Hesterman. She is not just their mom. She is her own person.

Again, if you care about Naomi Hesterman, who is a person, not just someone’s mom, please allow her to live her life in peace. And if you have any influence on those who are upsetting her to make them stop, please don’t be afraid to get in the middle of this. If she were a child being abused, you would not let it go. She is being abused by four of her children and it needs to stop. HIPAA says her medical records are hers. She has a right to privacy. Being an adult child of hers offers zero rights. I, however, am more than a daughter. I am her caregiver. Not by my word, but because of the care I provide, the county sees me as her official caregiver. Again, my mother has also signed over her medical power of attorney to me. So please let her medical professionals and me do our jobs.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s and She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

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