By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

Dinner is simmering. The puppies are chilling. And my mom is eagerly waiting for a plate of pork chops, fresh asparagus and baked sweet potatoes.

It’s been somewhat of a calm day. I don’t generally cook. It takes a lot of energy, which is something of which I often find myself in short supply. I had meant to spend much of the day napping. I was so exhausted that I wasn’t sure I’d make it through church. I took my mom and came back home to reboot myself.

There was laundry in the dryer. It needed to be folded. There were jackets and sweaters still in the washing machine that needed to be dried. Then the puppies caught my eye.

Such cute little babies, I thought, and with new unused collars–which I was able to pick up for less than $2 a piece–it seemed like a great time to try them on. They are growing so fast. Just a few weeks ago these same collars could have served as hula hoops on then-tiny canines. They are still small. Their xs toy size collars in orange, blue, red and pink, however, fit great. It took a little more effort to get Jack’s over his head and to keep Bandit’s small enough not to come off easily.  The blue in Jill’s eyes is nearly gone. Only Cinnamon still has his puppy baby blues as both Jack and Bandit’s eyes have turned a rich brown. Not another day, I decided, would I let go by without trying to get some good images of these little sweethearts. I’m still experimenting with my new camera phone so they aren’t as great as I would prefer. But they are better than the fuzzy ones I took last time with my computer’s built-in web cam.

My mom arrived home from church famished. A leftover slice of cheese pizza held her over until I could cook a proper Sunday meal. She seemed to enjoy both. She wanted more.

“Could you bring me a loaf of bread?” she asked, after asking that I open a jar of sugar free jelly. “I want to make a sandwich.”

“Sorry, I really don’t have any bread,” I replied as Mom explained that the loaf of Roman Meal bread I’d given to her Friday morning was already gone. “I didn’t buy any bread for myself when I went shopping.”

Mom said that was OK, and that she appreciated that I had made dinner.

I have to admit that it feels a little odd to have a warm dinner in my belly. I’m so used to eating not much more than diet bars when I am at home. In a way, it also feels good. I don’t believe I could eat a full plate like that every day, but maybe I can turn this into a Sunday tradition. I know I wouldn’t do it for myself.

What makes all the difference is knowing that this is one of the few ways this daughter can please her mom.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

Naomi Hesterman’s video diary – October 27, 2013.

By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

This is a video response to an email received in which one of my mother’s children, Bryce Hesterman, announced he is planning on forcing her to move out of my home against her wishes. Only he claims she is the one asking that he find a new home for her and that it has been an ongoing request. As the daughter who sees to her daily needs as a caregiver, I tend to believe her when she says she is more than happy to stay here, with her eldest daughter: me.

Please hear out my mom, Naomi Hesterman, in her own words. Thank you.

Naomi Hesterman is Happy in her Home

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

My mom is still able to make her own decisions. Her doctor spoke to her alone yesterday. I left the room and she determined with the doctor, outside of my presence, that she would like to stay here. She says this is home.

Holding my mom’s belongings hostage unless she complies with Electronics Engineering Specialist Bryce Hesterman’s wishes to relocate is abusive. This will be reported today to Adult Protective Services and any authorities necessary in the Redwood, Wash., area.

Local authorities are already aware of my Mom’s needs and are in our home frequently. They know our situation and relationship with me being the care giving daughter for mom. There is nothing to be reported here other than that there are siblings who cannot see the forest for the trees and that their attempts to “help” only create health risks for Naomi Hesterman.

Mom was indeed confused for a time about where she considered home, but she received proper medical care and now that she is on anti-seizure medication she is able to make her own choices. Power of attorney is meant to be used when one is incapacitated and unable to think for themselves. The doctors tested her over and over in the hospital. She passed the tests repeatedly and could not be deemed incapable of making her own decisions. There is a legal document on file with Maricopa County stating that she is mentally able to make decisions and unless or until she is deemed incompetent, the POA of which Bryce speaks is not applicable. To do so against her will would be abusive.

Mom will be rescinding this power of attorney today. She does not want someone to be in charge of her agency regarding her living conditions–especially Bryce. She has already signed over medical power of attorney to me, because I am the one filling out her paperwork for doctor visits.

My estrangement from the family is a direct result of this type of behind-the-scenes manipulation. At one point, Senior Oracle DBA / AIX Admin Scott Hesterman used money as blackmail. He said my mother would not receive one dime from him as long as she lived in my home. I said fine, keep your money. We didn’t need it anyway. Shortly thereafter, ironically, he was laid off and it was a moot point.

I am protecting my mother. I take care of her daily needs. This is her home. This is where she plans to stay. I am the one who washes and changes her sheets in the middle of the night. I am the one whom she awakens when she needs a cough drop or can’t get to sleep. I am the one who is there for her day in and day out trying to assist with whatever she needs. I know her best. She says she is comfortable here. Adult Protective Services are already familiar with us and know she is safe. Those threats mean nothing anymore.

Bryce, Lynda, Scott and whomever else is participating in this witch hunt, please stop twisting the knife in her back. She does not need all of this back seat driving in her life. She is as happy here as she could be anywhere. Her only wish is that she be reunited with her late husband. That is not going to happen any time soon. She is getting better by the day–based on care she is getting right here in the four walls of this house.

I hate to do this in a public manner, but those who are constantly manipulating my mom’s affairs when they are already in order need to be unmasked for who they are and they need to put a stop to the stress they are causing Naomi Hesterman. She is not just their mom. She is her own person.

Again, if you care about Naomi Hesterman, who is a person, not just someone’s mom, please allow her to live her life in peace. And if you have any influence on those who are upsetting her to make them stop, please don’t be afraid to get in the middle of this. If she were a child being abused, you would not let it go. She is being abused by four of her children and it needs to stop. HIPAA says her medical records are hers. She has a right to privacy. Being an adult child of hers offers zero rights. I, however, am more than a daughter. I am her caregiver. Not by my word, but because of the care I provide, the county sees me as her official caregiver. Again, my mother has also signed over her medical power of attorney to me. So please let her medical professionals and me do our jobs.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

RuthAnn,

I am working on a new photo album for Mom that will be easy for her to handle. I have time to do it, now that I am settled in and no longer working 7 days/week. You could help Mom immediately by putting a limited number of family photos on her photo viewer and stopping the facebook feeds. They confuse her.

The consensus of other family members that I have spoken with is that Mom will get her original photos when she leaves your premises because you have estranged yourself from the family.

I am exercising the power of attorney that Mom gave me, and I request that you give me the contact information for Mom’s primary care Physician. Mom has asked me to be present the next time she sees a doctor, and I am willing to come.

Furthermore, I request that you provide me with a statement of Mom’s current financial assets.

Mom has repeatedly requested that I make arrangements for her to find a new home. I plan to do that in a way that provides the least possible stress, and that takes into account her medical and social needs.

I think it would be to everyone’s advantage to have a meeting with other family members (some by remote access) that is mediated by either Adult Protective Services or with a family law attorney, whose services I can obtain so that we can amicably arrange for Mom’s departure.

Thanks,

Bryce

By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

My mother, Naomi Hesterman, just returned from a doctor visit. Her medical provider said she is seeing improvement in her strength and mobility since she’s started physical therapy and doing exercises at home. She is recommending that we continue the home health care. They will call me on Tuesday to set up a schedule for moving forward.

Other recommendations from the visit:
1. Mom would benefit greatly by having her family photos in her hands in her own home to reinforce her memory and help her maintain what she has. It is important to have the visuals. Right now, she has two 8X10s that have been created using her original photos, and that is about it. The rest reside with Bryce. It would be in Mom’s best interest to have those mailed to her. It’s been more than a year since they were borrowed.
2. Mom is not in any condition to travel alone. It is not in her best interest to travel far.
3. Mom needs familiar surroundings and stability and it is better to do home health care than to place her somewhere or have her move somewhere. Mom will continue to live here with me until she is no longer able to do so safely. Medical professionals who have been in our home over the past few weeks have deemed this as the best place for her right now and they recommend that she stay.
4. Invitations aside, spending time in humid climates such as those in the Seattle area or the Virgin Islands would not be in my Mom’s best interest. It could make some of her conditions significantly worse and make her unbearably uncomfortable. Because of her diabetes, even a short time in such a climate and the flare up it could cause could take months to recover from after returning to a dry climate.
5. It would be wise for Mom to agree to let me take her back to the dentist she has seen several times here in Maricopa. She claims she is terrified, and I believe her. But we need to go back nevertheless. I will be making an appointment for her as soon as we can get her back in.

Mom says people are calling her and offering to fly her places for visits or that they are decorating a room in purple so she can move in. Please don’t do so right now. It’s difficult for her even when we move a few things around in the house. She can become disoriented even from simple things like the furniture being moved. She does not need the stress of being pulled in various directions. It’s not good for her hypertension.

If you care about Naomi, you will support her in maintaining her health care plan that is being implemented by professionals right here in Maricopa. Also, our ward bishop lives across the street and two doors down. He is in walking distance and by phone. She has run into him before while taking walks. I dare say he is more available to her than any son in law might be who, to the best of my knowledge, travels for work and is rarely home between work and his church callings. In any case, there is no shortage of priesthood here. Nor is there any reason for her to travel to be a missionary. She bore her testimony to her physical therapist and they have discussed religion several times. She is already safe living with her eldest daughter and where she needs to be–for her best interest.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

Mom now has home health care with a nurse on call 24/7. She has already started home visits where her blood pressure is checked right in her own room between doctor visits. She has a physical therapist who is going to help her become more confident with her balance so she will feel better getting in and out of chairs. All she has to do is call and a nurse will be over in minutes. Literally. Her nurse lives in the area.

All of this is good news.

Meanwhile, a family member has invited her to move in with her in St. Thomas, but her neurologist advised against such a move due to the difference in the level of care available there. Even so, another family member, Electronics Engineering Specialist Bryce Hesterman, is trying to talk her into making the move.

Mom’s response at Lynda’s initial invitation: “Has she lost her mind?”

After speaking to her first-born, she has now decided that St. Thomas sounds sunny and a nice place to live.

I suppose we shall see whether those two continue to manipulate her into changing her mind, against the advice of healthcare professionals.

For those who don’t recall, Lynda and my mother lived together once before with a disastrous ending and heart-breaking aftermath during which those two barely spoke for months. With mom’s high blood pressure, that would be a bad thing to revisit.

It’s quiet around here most of the time. I do have dogs that bark when visitors come over or when they hear little children outside. It’s Arizona so kids don’t really play outside all that much around here. I think my mom must have forgotten how upset it made her to even hear little children singing primary songs and playing in general. My mom came unglued and her youngest daughter Lynda was constantly frustrated at the situation.

Mom says Bryce expects the move to take place in January.

If Bryce says, in Mom’s world, that means “so it shall be written, so it shall be done.”

And I think that is sad.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.

By RuthAnn Hogue/Whiptail Publishing

Mom now has home health care with a nurse on call 24/7. She has already started home visits where her blood pressure is checked right in her own room between doctor visits. She has a physical therapist who is going to help her become more confident with her balance so she will feel better getting in and out of chairs. All she has to do is call and a nurse will be over in minutes. Literally. Her nurse lives in the area.

All of this is good news.

Meanwhile, a family member has invited her to move in with her in St. Thomas, but her neurologist advised against such a move due to the difference in the level of care available there. Even so, another family member is trying to talk her into making the move.

Mom’s response at Lynda’s initial invitation: “Has she lost her mind?”

After speaking to her first-born, she has now decided that St. Thomas sounds sunny and a nice place to live.

I suppose we shall see whether those two continue to manipulate her into changing her mind, against the advice of healthcare professionals.

For those who don’t recall, Lynda and my mother lived together once before with a disastrous ending and heart-breaking aftermath during which those two barely spoke for months. With mom’s high blood pressure, that would be a bad thing to revisit.

It’s quiet around here most of the time. I do have dogs that bark when visitors come over or when they hear little children outside. It’s Arizona so kids don’t really play outside all that much around here. I think my mom must have forgotten how upset it made her to even hear little children singing primary songs and playing in general. My mom came unglued and Lynda was constantly frustrated at the situation.

Mom says Bryce expects the move to take place in January.

If Bryce says, in Mom’s world, that means “so it shall be written, so it shall be done.”

And I think that is sad.

RuthAnn Hogue is the owner and founder of Whiptail Publishing’s WebTechGirl.com and BookTrailerCentral.co. She is an award-winning author and journalist with an Internet Marketing Master of Science and a B.A. in Journalism/Political Science.